


Do Not Disturb

by Zuixen



Series: AftG [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: 5+1 Things, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foxes bet on anything, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M, Original Character(s), Possible smut later, Youve read the books you know no ones okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-04-12 00:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19120873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zuixen/pseuds/Zuixen
Summary: Also known as: 5 times Andrew says "I hate you" and 1 time he doesn't.The new Foxes are a hassle. Thankfully, vice captain Neil Josten has Andrew Minyard to keep him leveled.





	1. AJ

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to say that the 6 new players are my own characters. Also, I know Nora says they aren't super soft but I would kill myself before accepting that they don't eventually become soft
> 
> Also, fun fact, I listen to lots of hard rock while writing (ironically, I have the same taste in music as Matt and Seth)

Neil Josten liked to think that things were okay. 

 

This was, in fact, not okay.

 

The new recruits were a hassle, to say the least. They were bright eyed and unaware of the impact their words could have on the older, more unstable Foxes. 

 

At first it was small things. It was Citrine Fotiá making an ill timed joke about strippers. It was Blue Ferrel saying things that struck too close to home near Aaron Minyard. It was Syrbenet Zima insulting anyone who came too close. It was Quinn Tran looking at Matt Boyd's track marks and immediately edging closer, her own marks begging to be renewed. 

 

They tried to help. Dan Wilds would warn Citrine he was out of line with a swat to the forearm. Aaron was less forgiving, simply leaving whenever Blue reminded him too much of how he'd been with Tilda. They all easily adapted to Syrbenet, who's insults stung less than the violence Andrew Minyard brought onto the team. Matt would shake his head and offer Quinn something else, be it a book, a remote, a snack, or simply a tentative hug. 

 

Practice was almost always a nightmare. The freshman were all too unused to teamwork. Even the ones who'd known each other before joining the team (Quinn and Syrbenet, who both vaguely knew Citrine) refused to cooperate long enough for one of the experienced players to drill the game into their heads. 

 

Today, the new Foxes had been doing rather well. Neil was relieved, but also tense. The easy practice meant an outburst was soon approaching.

 

"Quill, your movements are too hesitant. Go for the ball and don't stop." Kevin Day threw another ball, and Quill Sektiun flung his racquet as fast as he could, deflecting the ball back out onto the court. 

 

"Aim, don't just deflect." Kevin said, throwing again.

 

Quinn Tran, number 13, hummed, tapping on the plexiglass walls of the court, "C'mon Quill, I know you can do it."

 

Quill glanced at her with the same shame and guilt he usually did, but nodded.

 

Quinn was Quill's younger sister by nine months. Their parents had one more daughter ten months later, divorcing when Quill was eleven. Their father took custody of Quill, but fought tooth and nail for Quinn and Nex as well. A year later, Quinn disappeared on her way home from school. A year later, the police put a tracking chip in Nex's shoe before she was kidnapped as well. They tracked down the father, freeing the children and arresting the father. Quill was questioned severely, as if he'd been the kidnapper. He didn't see much of Quinn or Nex afterwards, choosing to spend all his free time away from home. He had trust issues, always giving the Foxes skeptical looks and flinching away from the smallest movement. Despite his flinching issue, he'd gotten much better at throwing himself into Exy. The Foxes still avoided looking to closely at his gear, because no one wanted to remember who number 6 used to be.

 

Quinn, while retained by her father, had been constantly drugged and forced to drink alcohol so she was too inebriated to fight back. After being freed, she was hooked on both. They helped numb the fear and pain, to dull her senses but give her that rush she needed. In high school she dove into Exy so she had a distraction. It helped slightly, easing her into lower doses. She was still fidgety, having only fully quit a few months before. But she was overly gleeful, getting along with Nicky easily. It was a miracle the two hadn't gotten murdered by one of the more temperamental Foxes yet. One night, Nicky had proclaimed that, if he and Quinn were both straight, they'd be a fantastic couple. 

 

Neil didn't disagree, the way they bounced off each other and talked and laughed for hours was always a fresh reminder that the world was not just darkness. 

 

Their different last names were due to Quinn's marriage. Despite her addiction, Quinn had met Clara Tran in high school. They were well known as the first openly wed same-sex couple in Exy. Clara, unlike Quinn, did not play Exy. She was an aspiring author. Every Fox had bought a copy of Clara's two published novels and read them. Well, except the twins. Aaron didn't care for the freshman, much less a freshman's wife. Andrew hadn't bought a copy, but had sat still when Neil read them aloud. 

 

Kevin still was distraught by the fact that seemingly everyone on his team didn't fit the heteronormative mold Exy usually had. Kevin had no right to speak, since he didn't fit the mold either, but Neil sympathized with Kevin's desire to keep the new Foxes away from as much hate as possible. 

 

Andrew watched the new goalkeeper with the same indifference he did everyone else. But when Quill made the mistake of following Kevin's eyes instead of his movements, Andrew frowned just the tiniest fraction. It was not positive, but Neil liked any reaction to Exy Andrew had. 

 

Quinn must have noticed Andrew's subtle disapproval, because she called out, "It's okay, Quill. I'm a backliner, I'll keep everyone away from you so you don't have to worry too much."

 

Kevin sent her a disapproving look, "If you have a shield, that doesn't mean you should abandon your sword."

 

"Wow, getting philosophical in here, are we?" Syrbenet said, her arms crossed over her chest and her racquet leaning against the wall next to her. 

 

Syrbenet Zima, number 11, nicknamed Harpy by an unknown source (there was a betting pool on if it was the media or someone from the Foxes)(personally, Neil thought Syrbenet herself had coined the name in order to boost her popularity, nicknamed players always get more attention). She was a striker chosen by Kevin for her fast and unstoppable scores. Once she threw the ball, there was no stopping it. She hadn't yet had the opportunity to try and score on Andrew, but Neil desperately wanted to watch that encounter. Unfortunately, she was too light on her feet. She could throw with deadly force, but she couldn't move quickly or steadily. If someone collided with her she'd be out immediately; her legs just couldn't quite handle the force of the court. Kevin was working on improving her legs, but so far she hadn't gotten any better.

 

"Syrbenet, another word out of you when it isn't your turn and I'm making you join cross country." Coach seethed, fed up with the freshman just as much as the other Foxes.

 

She sneered, her hazel eyes full of malice. She had been a potential Fox because of her issues with violence and disobedience. She seemed to always have a blade on her body, but even metal detectors had an issue finding them if she put her mind to hiding them. She'd never killed anyone, but she had stabbed many people she deemed threatful in high school. The issue stemmed from her childhood, when she watched her mother get murdered. She'd taught herself how to escape from the grips of an enemy and the most painful places to slice. She played Exy for the violence, even if she couldn't throw herself in front of players. 

 

Quill failed to block a goal, and this time Andrew looked like he thought the freshman was incompetent.

 

Syrbenet noticed and frowned, "Hey, mind your business, AJ. No one wants your judgement."

 

Neil had never heard anyone refer to Andrew as such, but apparently Renee had, because she was blocking Andrew's path before he even stood up. 

 

Renee said something quietly, but it was the sort of quiet Neil had heard from his mother when hiding in alleys or when being threatened by one of the Butcher's men in the corner of a dimly lit room. It was sharp and warning, not comforting or sweet like Renee's usual demeanor.

 

Most of the Foxes noticed her intervening, which was a cause for concern. Dan and Matt quietly speculated what could have set Andrew off. 

 

Neil overheard Dan say, "Do you think it's because the name sounds childish?" And then he understood. AJ was definitely something a child who wanted a fresh start would go by. It must've been what Andrew went by when he was younger. But why would that make him angry? 

 

He wished he was on the other side of the fence so he could be closer to Andrew, but Kevin would never tolerate him walking off court. 

 

After practice, Andrew was almost immediately gone. Neil sought out Renee.

 

"Why did Andrew react that way?" 

 

Renee looked at him serenely, "I don't know if he'd appreciate me sharing his secrets."

 

Neil paused, because she was right. Neil didn't want to betray Andrew's trust. He shouldn't dig for things he was refused. But they'd been doing well lately, so Neil let himself have this one thing. Besides, what if this was something that would result in Andrew being untouchable for a while? Neil needed a heads up.

 

"You know I won't harass him about it. I just need to know if I should be near him or not."

 

Renee glanced at Neil's scars, then nodded, "Of course. Andrew reacts violently to that specific name because it's what he went by with Cass, and by extension…"

 

With Drake. Renee didn't need to finish that sentence. 

 

Neil stood by the door to the roof for a few minutes, weighing his options. He could leave Andrew alone or go sit with him. He couldn't be sure which was preferable. Andrew didn't want pity. 

 

Neil eventually jiggled the door open and went up. He wouldn't say anything. He'd just sit, let Andrew know that he would always be there. That even an anchor needed a rope to function. 

 

The sun was already low in the sky, bathing the roof in orange light. Andrew was holding a cigarette, but he hadn't lit it. He was just holding it, still as a rock. 

 

Neil made sure to walk with more weight than normal, so Andrew could hear him approaching. When he said nothing, Neil assumed it was fine, and sat an easy two feet away.

 

He sat there with Andrew until the sun was mostly gone and stars had started filling the sky. 

 

"Hey."

 

Andrew didn't acknowledge him, but didn't deflect him either.

 

"You're amazing."

 

Andrew didn't move at all, but Neil could vaguely tell that he was hesitating.

 

"I hate you."

 

Neil smiled, "Yeah, I know."


	2. Shot of Mayo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a shot of mayo ruins some nice wall kissing™️

Neil knew why Dan and Kevin had agreed to keep Syrbenet away from Andrew for a while, but apparently that had changed.

 

At their last game they'd finally put the freshman in the spotlight. They'd let Syrbenet play at the end, when she was less likely to get barreled over by energetic opponents. She only threw three times, but she scored each of those.

 

Kevin was far from subtle when he made Neil "grab the racquet I left on the court" so he could talk to Andrew. 

 

Neil didn't ask either about it, though he wished he had. 

 

At practice, Syrbenet strolled on court, her racquet slung over her shoulder and Andrew watching from the goal.

 

As much as Neil wanted to see them play, he wasn't sure it was a safe idea. Unfortunately, he was too busy trying to score on Renee to mention it. 

 

With so many people now, they'd begun playing a game entirely of Foxes. Today, it was Renee, Syrbenet, Kevin, Quinn, Matt, and Dan versus Andrew, Neil, Ocylla, Nicky, Aaron, and Blue. 

 

Ocylla Syrien was a striker, the one Neil had forced Kevin to agree on recruiting. She was best at weaving her way through her opponents, almost never missing a catch. Her aim was nowhere near as impressive as Syrbenet, but she was still a fantastic striker. She fit the Foxes due to her issues with following orders and her tendency to start violent fights if someone breathed too close to her.

 

Blue Ferrel was a defensive dealer. He looked small, but he was nearly impossible to knock over. Unfortunately, he had some breathing issues to unsafe binding when he was younger. He fit Wymack's band of misfits well. He was comfortable now, but he still let his gaze linger on the kitchen knives (Matt had silently removed them last week).

 

Quill and Citrine were sitting out, but Allison made sure they were paying attention to the movements of the team.

 

Kevin was the one to carry the ball towards the goal, passing it to Syrbenet so she could score. The woman twisted, taking one step before launching the ball towards the upper corner of the goal. 

 

Andrew had been watching Syrbenet intently, the distance prevented Neil from determining if it was spite or interest that fueled his gaze. 

 

Andrew's racquet was up, and the ball was deflected, rebounding to collide with Syrbenet's chest. 

 

The freshman gasped, the air knocked from her lungs with enough force to cause her to stagger. She pressed a hand to her chest, clutching at her jersey while she regained a somewhat steady breathing pattern. Then she turned viciously sharp eyes on Andrew.

 

"Do you have a fucking problem?" 

 

Andrew gazed at her with mild disinterest, "Lots."

 

"Oh, right, I forgot they let God damn criminals on this team. Let me specify: do you have a problem with me?" Syrbenet held her ground, hazel eyes meeting hazel eyes in what Neil can tell is a battle for dominance.

 

This won't end well.

 

"You're not important enough to be a problem," Andrew raked his eyes over Syrbenet, "Yet."

 

"Yeah? Well you're starting to be a real pain in the ass. I might just break my vows." 

 

Neil didn't know what her vows were, but Quinn must, because she jogged over and put her racquet in front of Syrbenet.

 

"Syr, not here." 

 

Syrbenet didn't take her piercing state off Andrew, "Yes, here. He wants to be top dog? He should expect resistance."

 

Then Dan stepped between them, looking to Syrbenet first, "That is  _ enough _ . You are crossing lines you don't want to cross. Andrew isn't top dog here, I am your captain. Now back off or you're sitting the next games out." She glanced to Andrew, but only shook her head, understanding that he wouldn't even listen to her words. 

 

Syrbenet said something in harsh Russian, scowling and turning away. The rest of practice is mostly uneventful.

 

In the locker room, when Andrew is out of earshot, one of the freshman began talking to Nicky.

 

"He's really weird, but like, he's cool. Definitely cute, but in a 'I'll-fuck-you-up' sorta way. Doubt we'd get along, unfortunately. Some things just aren't meant to be." 

 

Nicky blinked, glancing at Neil with a distraught expression. The freshman hadn't yet found out that Neil wasn't just Andrew's "handler", as Kevin so kindly put it. It wasn't an issue, since none of the freshman had any desire to pursue anything more than a fight with Andrew, but apparently Citrine Fotiá lacked survival instincts.

 

Citrine was the youngest recruit, 18 and barely an inch above the twins. He was probably the most likeable of the freshman (it was a tie between Quinn and Citrine, personally Neil preferred Quinn's respectful positivity). He grew up in an orphanage, and joined a gang during high school. He was arrested for various minor things, playing Exy as a side hobby. He left the gang the moment Coach offered a contract, but there was still a switchblade he kept under his pillow. 

 

Nicky shook his head, but smiled conspiratorially, "Sorry Citrine, even if he would talk to you, you wouldn't have a chance."

 

Citrine placed a hand on his chest in mock offense, "What? Do you doubt my charms? Wait, is he straight? I'm a failure of a bisexual if I can't even determine who is and isn't queer." 

 

Nicky hummed, "Nope, he definitely is not straight."

 

Citrine looked interested, turning to face Nicky more directly, which also allowed Neil to see the two long, jagged scars that started at either shoulder and ran to mid-back. 

 

"Well, no one on this team is. Why wouldn't I have a chance?" Citrine pulled a shirt on, pushing wet blond hair out of his face. 

 

"One, I'm pretty sure Andrew is monogamous; two, you're not really his type; three, his boyfriend might be jealous." 

 

Neil frowned, because he wasn't sure who Nicky was referring to. He almost smacked himself. Nicky was referring to Neil, obviously. It was just… an odd title. Neil and Andrew had never used that word, Andrew hadn't referred to them as anything other than "this" or  "thing", and that was on a good day. They didn't need a word, they just wanted each other. (Though Andrew may claim he wanted nothing.)

 

"He has a boyfriend? I never took him fit the commitment type. Who is it?" 

 

Nicky grinned, "I bet you can't get it right."

 

Citrine stood up straighter, "I'll get it right. How's twenty sound?"

 

"Sounds good to me. No hints, unless you want to bribe our teammates."

 

Citrine turned to Matt, who shook his head. 

 

"I'm not getting involved in this."

 

"Aw, please? At least tell me if he's on the team or not."

 

Matt frowned, "That would make it too easy."

 

Citrine nodded, "So he's on the team."

 

Matt floundered about, but couldn't deny it. 

 

Citrine tapped his palm, as if counting the men on the team. He shook his head minutely, glanced at Kevin, then seemed to understand.

 

"It's Day, isn't it?"

 

Nicky snorted, eventually doubling over as laughter wracked his entire body. Neil didn't understand what was so funny. He was slightly confused about why Citrine would find Kevin and Andrew compatible, though. 

 

"Nope, sorry kid. Pay up." 

 

Citrine frowned, but passed Nicky twenty dollars, "Who is it?"

 

Nicky nodded towards Neil. Citrine gave Neil an appreciative look.

 

"Really? I guess it makes sense that the boyfriend is the handler."

 

Neil ignored Citrine, ready to leave. Nicky followed, because they shared a ride back to Fox Tower. 

 

"Sorry, if you didn't want me telling him about that." 

 

Neil shrugged, "It's not a secret. It just doesn't come up. I wouldn't say I'm his boyfriend, though."

 

"Would you prefer to be his trophy wife?"

 

"Don't ever let him hear you say that."

 

"Does he want to be the trophy wife?"

 

Neil nearly fell right there in the parking lot, whipping around to face Nicky, "Stop."

 

Nicky's grin fell, but he nodded solemnly.

 

"Do you want to tell me why you don't like that?"

 

Neil glanced at where Andrew is leaning against his car about twenty feet away, "My father. That's what he called my mother. It wasn't an affectionate title."

 

"Sorry."

 

Neil instinctively wanted to say "it's fine" but knew that he was supposed to stop saying that so often. 

 

"Don't worry about it. You didn't know."

 

Nicky looked startled by the blatant forgiveness. Neil wasn't sure why, but then he remembered that Nicky spent a lot of his time with Andrew, Aaron, and Kevin, none of whom are the most forgiving. Plus, Neil wasn't exactly known for being the most comforting (or honest) of the Foxes.

 

Aaron was already hovering a few feet away from Andrew, though Neil didn't remember seeing him leave the locker room. Kevin trotted out and over to the group a few moments later, and they all head back to Fox Tower. 

 

The girls are already back. Dan, Renee, Allison, Quinn, and Ocylla are chatting in the hall. Syrbenet was glaring at Quinn, as if sheer force of will would pry her away from the upperclassmen. 

 

If they weren't both so possessive, Neil thought that Syrbenet and Andrew might bond over being caretakers of their dumbass friends. And if they could both just chill for like five seconds.

 

Ocylla spotted him first, immediately standing taller and angling herself so she could easily deflect him if he was too close, an instinct that Neil understood. 

 

Ocylla Syrien, starting striker for the Palmetto Foxes, soon-to-be mother, and wife to Sequoi Syrien. Sequoi Syrien was the heiress to Sepoli Syrien's million dollar business, Empress Jeweling. Sequoi was the first albino model, and Allison would occasionally ask Ocylla if an autograph could be had. Ocylla was the oldest freshman at 20 years old. She'd quit school after her sophomore year, and only stayed because she met Sequoi on the first day of junior year. They'd been married for nearly a year, planning to adopt a child soon. 

 

Neil didn't know how Ocylla and Sequoi planned to balance their lives of fame and care for a child, but he wished them luck. Ocylla, despite being disobedient and regularly seeking fights, was easy to get along with. She offered scathing remarks that were more teasing than anything, and she was very keen on the mood of others. Unlike some of the other freshman, she had immediately picked up on Andrew's issues with touch. 

 

Andrew hadn't admitted it, but he was willing to let Ocylla tag along with the monsters sometimes. 

 

"Hey, nice job today! You have to tell me, how do you run so fast?" Ocylla stretched out one of her almost unnaturally long legs, "It doesn't make sense that someone shorter than me is faster."

 

_ A life on the run, _ he thought blandly, but said, "I just do. Exy energizes me."

 

Andrew tugged on Neil's hood, "That's enough chatter. Kevin is going out with Wymack."

 

To anyone else, it would sound like a strangely controlling sentence. Even to the original Foxes, who were aware of their thing. Neil knew that it was, in fact, a proposition. With Kevin gone, they had the dorm to themselves. 

 

Ocylla winked, pointedly ignoring Andrew's glare, "Nice chatter, Neil," then she turned back the girls and said, "Now, about those free necklaces."

 

Neil let Andrew tug him into their dorm. It isn't an insistent tug, more like he's bored of walking a dog and had settled for just dragging it around by the leash.

 

Neil closed the door behind them, but he couldn't remember if he locked it, because then Andrew crowded him against the wall (not the door, the door will move slightly on the hinges, alerting the others of their actions). 

 

"Yes or no?"

 

"It's always yes with you." 

 

Andrew didn't even bother replying, instead leaning in and pressing his lips to Neil's. Today must be a good day, because Andrew let his body press against Neil's nicely. 

 

Andrew still kissed like it was a fight he had to win. Like if he lost he'd never recover. He let teeth slip against lips, never hard enough to bleed but enough to leave a lingering weight. He tapped Neil's left wrist twice, the signal that Neil could thread his fingers through Andrew's hair. 

 

Neil knew better than to press closer, even though every nerve in his body was begging to be closer to Andrew's cool skin, to feel muscle through fabric. To know if Andrew's heart was beating as fast as Neil's. 

 

Andrew's hand dipped lower, and Neil's breath hitched with anticipation. 

 

Then the door opened.

 

"Hey, do you guys have —oh."

 

Nicky stood awkwardly, weighing his options. 

 

It didn't really matter, Andrew had already stepped a good three feet away, his disinterested hazel gaze on his cousin. Surprisingly, Neil couldn't see any hint of annoyance. 

 

_ Who is humanizing who? _ Nicky had asked last year. A very valid question. 

 

"You know, I should just get you a 'do not disturb' sign." 

 

Neil shook his head, "No, because Andrew would just wear it indefinitely."

 

Andrew glared, "I hate you."

 

"It's part of my charm."

 

Nicky looked between them, then decided his words would probably result in murder and stepped back.

 

"I just wanted to see if you had any mayo. Matt just bet me five bucks that I wouldn't do a shot of mayo."

 

Andrew looked about as confused as his apathy allowed, "I question if we're really related."

 

Nicky grinned, "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I have no self control because I wrote this hella fast. If only I would write my original story as vigilantly
> 
> Also, I do not proofread, so there is probably an error in every chapter


	3. Double "Date"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wlw and mlm solidarity is in the household tonight. Battleship. I have no self control and include my OC

Nicky did buy them a 'do not disturb' sign.

 

Andrew refused to acknowledge it, but didn't throw it out. 

 

"Hey, I was wondering… do you two ever fight?"

 

Neil looked up at Ocylla, who sat cross legged across from him. They were playing Battleship, because it was the type of easy, not very strategic game that calmed Neil's nerves on bad days.

 

There were three types of bad day: Andrew's bad day, Neil's bad day, and a shared bad day. Today was just Neil's, but thankfully the Foxes helped keep him grounded.

 

"What do you mean?" Neil studied his past marks, "A-3."

 

Ocylla hummed, "Miss. I mean you and Andrew. He's rather unfriendly with everyone else. Is it easy, being together?"

 

Neil slotted a white miss into his board, thinking. 

 

"G-8."

 

"Miss."

 

Ocylla's pins clacked, and Neil realized that it actually was easy. 

 

Sure, it wasn't what most people imagined when they thought of a relationship, but it was so easy for them. It was exactly what they both needed. Yeah, maybe there were days when Andrew wouldn't speak to Neil, or days when Neil could barely look at the Foxes without remembering all the trouble he'd caused them, or days where they were both too drained to even bother holding the other up; but they were still… nice seemed to be the most accurate word. It was mutual understanding and protection. Neither needed anything, but they both  _ wanted _ . And very few people who want ask first, which was what made it so easy. The asking, the thanking. Things they both wished they'd been given. Andrew's "Yes or no?" and Neil's "Thank you." 

 

"No, we've never fought, not for a while now, at least." Neil studied his board again, "C-5. It's just easy. Balanced, you know?"

 

Ocylla nodded, "Hit. I was just wondering. I… I was talking to Seq last night, and we had a little falling out. She's worried about the kid. Thinks we won't be good enough, that she'll be too busy or I'll accidentally lash out. I told her to quit, that we're both fantastic. That she'll be wonderful. But she doesn't believe me, and I don't know what to do."

 

"B-4."

 

Neil glanced, Ocylla had missed just barely. 

 

"Miss." Neil thought about questions and answers, and decided to offer Ocylla his limited knowledge of relationships, "Sequoi was bullied a lot. She doesn't fully understand that not everyone will have it rough. You can't change her, you know that, right?"

 

Ocylla nodded. She knew better than anyone that Sequoi received a lot of hate and backlash, she always had. Neil only knew because Allison often ranted about how idiotic the haters were; insulting Sequoi purely because she'd been born different. Ocylla wasn't free from it either, especially now that she was a Fox. No one liked violent, disobedient women to be in the media. 

 

Neil found it quite odd. Ocylla may tend to ignore his orders on court and constantly fight with Kevin, but sitting here in the dorm? She was calm and thoughtful. She covered her left eye with her hair, hiding scars from the world. She wore crop tops and leather pants, shameless in her appearance. She may not be perfect, but who was? Neil found her confidence refreshing, compared to some of the other Foxes. 

 

"Yeah, right. C-7." 

 

"Hit."

 

Ocylla smiled, "You know, I hear double dates are fun."

 

She laughed at the startled expression Neil felt spread across his face. 

 

"I don't think Andrew would like that."

 

There was a bored tap of knuckles against the wall, "I think Andrew would appreciate being asked."

 

Neil looked back. Andrew was leaning against the wall, same disinterested expression as usual. 

 

"Are you saying you want to go?"

 

"I don't want anything." Andrew's gaze flicked to Ocylla briefly, "Where exactly would this occur?"

 

Ocylla smiled, showing off white teeth just a touch too sharp for a human, "There's a cafe not too far. They serve this fantastic pie, last time I ate it I nearly died of a sugar overload. It was great."

 

Andrew's expression doesn't change, but he nodded, "Give Neil the time. I'm leaving before you infect me with your nerdiness."

 

Andrew turned and did as he said, probably going up to the roof. 

 

"If he finds out you know how to manipulate him with sweets, he'll kill you."

 

Ocylla grinned, a wicked gleam in her single blue eye, "I'd love to see him try."

 

×××

 

Ocylla did not hold back for the date night. She put her up in a stylishly messy bun (probably assisted by Allison) but left some hair down to cover her eye. She wore the same leather pants as always, but put on a sheer, lace shawl over a violet tube top. Her visible eye was sharply lined and her lips were painted a red that was just a touch to bright in Neil's opinion. Though, to be fair, Neil rarely wore anything brighter than the pastel orange sweater Dan had given him. 

 

Neither Neil nor Andrew bothered dressing up. They didn't really consider this a date, just another place to go and exist, like Sweetie's.

 

"Sequoi is meeting us there. Am I driving myself?" Ocylla asked, her question directed at Andrew, who is already holding his keys.

 

Andrew glanced at her, giving her a quick analysis before replying, "No."

 

So Ocylla sat in the back seat and remained quiet all the way to the cafe, excluding her occasional directions. 

 

The cafe is mostly empty, with that sort of aura that made you feel like nothing could harm you. That didn't mean Neil felt any more at ease than usual, but he was thankful for the quaint atmosphere.

 

He'd only seen Sequoi in pictures — usually only briefly shoved in his face by Ocylla or Allison — but he was surprised to find how different she looked in real life. She had curled her chin length white hair and her lips were light pink. She didn't look like a model in her cozy black sweater and jeans, but Neil knew appearances could be deceiving. 

 

Ocylla scurried over, pulling the slightly taller woman into a hug. Andrew ignored the happy reunion and stole a chair, sitting closest to the wall. 

 

Sequoi smiled at them, but there was an odd flicker of something in her eerie pink eyes, "Hello, it's nice to meet you. Ocylla hasn't shared many details with me, but I'm glad she's not alone."

 

Andrew's gaze flicked to Sequoi, and their eyes met. Neil expected the usual cold dismissal, but Andrew instead leaned forward.

 

"Don't lie, it will give you a bad reputation."

 

Sequoi blinked innocently, then smiled again, "It isn't a lie. I'm just not sharing the truth."

 

Ocylla frowned but didn't comment, taking her seat next to Sequoi. Her dark purple hair clashed with Sequoi's pale complexion, giving the illusion of them being darker and lighter than they respectively were. 

 

Sequoi and Ocylla talked amongst themselves, so Neil turned their conversation out. They ordered their food and Sequoi announced she'd be paying.

 

Neil almost argued, but a brief glare from Andrew kept him from speaking. 

 

Of course, Andrew got the pie — which looks like one bite will give you diabetes. 

 

Neil got whatever he saw first, which turns out to be an almond poppyseed muffin. It's surprisingly good, which less sugar than he expected of a pastry. 

 

Sequoi turned her small smile on Neil, "So, is Ocylla much of an issue?"

 

Ocylla squawked indignantly, then hid her flustered grumbling in her coffee. 

 

"On the court, yes. But otherwise she fits in well with the Foxes."

 

"She's less bothersome than most," Andrew added, which was slightly startling. Andrew rarely had an opinion about the other Foxes that was positive. 

 

Sequoi hummed, tapping her nails against the table in a controlled rhythm, "That's good." 

 

"You know, you  _ could  _ ask me,  _ your wife _ , about my time at Palmetto instead my teammates."

 

"Yes, but you tend to lie when I ask if you're doing well." 

 

Ocylla huffed, but didn't deny anything.

 

Neil wondered if the truth for truth system would work for them, but decided they probably don't have enough secrets for it to work. Besides, most people might find that system to be a bit odd. 

 

"Have you ever been to a zoo?" The question is directed at Neil, which was mildly confusing.

 

Technically he had been to a zoo. He and his mother had hid in one briefly, but they hadn't seen any of the animals. 

 

"Not really."

 

Sequoi nodded, "It's settled then, we're going to the zoo. I'll pay."

 

Neil wanted to complain. The least he could do was pay for his own ticket, but Sequoi wouldn't have any of that. Andrew said nothing, but seemed vaguely intrigued. 

 

Sequoi stood, and Neil realized just how tall she was. Her height was only accentuated by her lithe figure and three inch heels. Even without the shoes, she would easily be eye level with Nicky. 

 

Ocylla rode with Sequoi, offering an apologetic smile before following Sequoi to her car. Neil didn't know why she thought it necessary. He'd always chosen to ride with Andrew. If that was something most people found inconsiderate, he should maybe apologize to the upperclassmen.

 

Neil glanced at Andrew's armbands when they parked, "Do you think they have a metal detector?"

 

"It's a zoo, Josten, not an airport. Do they have metal detectors at Walmart?" 

 

"I've never been to Walmart."

 

Andrew paused very briefly, "I doubt that." 

 

Neil shrugged, "If that's what you choose to believe, I can't stop you."

 

There were not metal detectors, and Sequoi prevented any probing questions about Andrew's blank expression and Neil's scars with a (probably illegal) stack of cash. 

 

Ocylla snatched a map, humming as she chose their route.

 

"If we go forward, we can see the gators, flamingos, and penguins. Then a turn left will take us the aviary, the ostriches, and the kangaroos. Then we can stop for drinks before going to the reptile house and the big cats."

 

No one disagreed with her path, so that's the way they go.

 

"Man, I wish I could just be lazy and swim all day. These gators are living the dream. Hey, Sequoi, can we get a gator?" Ocylla asked, turning her clear blue eye on the albino woman.

 

"No. It's not legal."

 

"Then we'll move to Florida."

 

Sequoi grimaced, "No. Florida is nasty."

 

Neil is surprised that there were so many flamingos. They're a lot pinker than he thought. He'd always figured it was exaggerated. But no, these birds were like the pink panther but worse because they were real. 

 

Sequoi hummed appreciatively, "I may suggest a flamingo design to Mother. She is fond of flashy clothing."

 

Ocylla pressed a kiss to her cheek, "But you'd look fantastic in that color."

 

Sequoi blushed and walked to the penguins.

 

Neil glanced at Andrew, who had yet to react to anything. It wasn't surprising, since Andrew was still only partially acknowledging Ocylla's existence. 

 

There was a rather large clump of penguins, but one stood off to the side. It was watching the others, content to be alone. 

 

"Look Andrew, it's your long lost penguin twin."

 

Andrew frowned, "I have nothing in common with a penguin."

 

Neil pointedly gestured at Andrew's black clothing, "Your hair and skin isn't quite pale enough, but you've pretty much got the monochromatic look." He briefly wondered if his next words would get him stabbed, "Your legs are short enough, too."

 

Andrew looked back at the penguins, then shook his head, "Then you're the one drowning in the corner."

 

Said penguin was not drowning, just flailing about in the water like it had a mental issue. It was endearing that Andrew had even bothered to find an adequate comparison.

 

"Do penguins taste good?" Ocylla wondered aloud, earning a horrified look from a young boy.

 

"Not everything is food, Cy."

 

"I know, Seq. But you're—"

 

Sequoi didn't let her finish, "We are in a public, family friendly place."

 

"Are you inferring that I care?" 

 

"No, I'm inferring that  _ I  _ care."

 

Ocylla pouted, but pressed her bright red lips to Sequoi's cheek, "Whatever. Let's go to the aviary."

 

The birds seemed to vaguely interest Andrew. He became determined to make a parrot repeat as many crude words as possible. 

 

Eventually, an employee started forward. 

 

Neil didn't really want to explain why Andrew had stabbed a man, so he subtly ushered the goalkeeper out of the aviary and over to the ostriches. 

 

"Whoever said dolphins were smarter than parrots was wrong. I'd take a bird over an overrated fish."

 

"Dolphins are mammals," Ocylla said, to which Andrew shrugged.

 

"That's the lizard brain speaking."

 

Ocylla frowned, both at Andrew and Sequoi's amused laugh.

 

Neil was uninterested in the large, flightless birds. So, he took to staring at Andrew. 

 

His blond hair had started to get a little long, hanging into his eyes. The sun brought out the flecks of gold and green that made his eyes hazel. A fitting color, if you asked Neil. It seemed fair that such a unique man had one of the rarest eye colors. It was always a bit startling to remember that he and Andrew had a thing. If, when he'd first met Andrew, someone told him they'd end up kissing he probably would've laughed hysterically. But now the memory of being hit in the gut with an Exy racquet made him rather nostalgic — which sort of concerned the other Foxes when he mentioned it to Matt once. 

 

"Staring is rude."

 

Neil blinked, smiling, "So are you, it kind of cancels it out."

 

"I'm not rude, I just don't care about other people's feelings."

 

"That's literally the definition of rude."

 

"I think the word you're looking for is 'inconsiderate'." 

 

"Sorry, am I expected to carry a dictionary everywhere I go?"

 

Andrew pretended to ponder the idea, "It would be amusing to watch you vigorously search for a word every few minutes."

 

"Wow, relationship goals," Ocylla said, grinning at them.

 

Andrew waved a hand between himself and Neil, "This is nothing. I hate him."

 

"What a wonderful date this has been." Neil smiled at Andrew's annoyance.

 

"I hate you."

 

"So you've said."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing these two? Like, I physically can't stop. I expected to take forever writing this but I'm just breezing right through. God bless Andreil for motivating me


	4. Feelings™️

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings™️ with Neil and Blue, then Nicky and Allison trying to make Neil actually be useful (it doesn't work). Then kissing because I write about people kissing when I'm lonely

Blue Ferrel was sitting in the hallway. It was not uncommon for that to happen. Blue liked open spaces, they made him feel free and safe. 

 

Neil understood that. It was easier to run in an open space. But lately, he hadn't needed to run when he had Andrew's hands on his.

 

Neil finally understood how the upperclassmen had felt when he'd joined the team, small and timid. 

 

He wanted to somehow help Blue, but he knew there was nothing he could offer. Blue liked his space. 

 

So Neil leaned against the wall outside his shared dorm, opposite Blue. 

 

"Why are you here?"

 

"I live here, too."

 

Blue hummed at that, but didn't comment. He was quiet, but in a way that Neil recognized as survival rather than personality. Blue hadn't shared much of his past, which Neil respected. Not all of them had dramatic, murder-y backstories, but there were some things too personal to share. There were some things even Neil still kept from everyone except Andrew. Things that were minor enough to be unimportant to the FBI, but too deeply slashed into his heart to be public knowledge. Things that could only under the comforting protection of another's sheets. 

 

"You don't have to sit out here. I told Renee and Allison the same, earlier. Are all you Foxes so persistent?"

 

"I wouldn't bet on either of the twins sitting here."

 

Blue huffed a light laugh, "Yeah, they're a bit odd." His eyes widened, "Er, no offense, if you like that sort of thing."

 

"We're all a bit odd, it's just a matter of perspective." 

 

Blue nodded, "I'm not used to everyone being so different. Back at home," Blue said the word like most people may say 'back in prison', "we were all supposed to be the same. Fit into the perfect little mold."

 

"Seems they couldn't fit all your spirit into that mold, huh?" 

 

Blue smiled, "I can see why that bet exists."

 

Neil sighed, "What are they betting on this time?"

 

"One of the others — Citrine, I think — suggested that maybe Andrew was secretly soft, but only around you. All of your friends immediately disagreed, so now there's a betting pool on whether or not Andrew likes you. Which I think is weird, why would you be around someone who doesn't like you?" Blue winced at his own words, but didn't explain why he did so.

 

Neil looked up at the ceiling. It wasn't the first time one of the upperclassmen had mentioned how unaffectionate Andrew was. Neil didn't dare mention the hesitant holding of hands, the gentle caresses, the patient questions and breathy answers. He and Andrew weren't publicly affectionate, they were barely privately affectionate. It was just how they were, but neither had an issue with it.

 

"He hates me, you know."

 

Blue frowned, "Should I change my bet?"

 

Neil's lips quirked up an amused smile, "No. It's his way of acknowledging me. Of saying that I exist and he hates the way I make him feel."

 

"What, like a violent 'I love you'?"

 

Neil frowned at the words. It wasn't love. It was mutual trust and respect. Mutual attraction, at least as far as Andrew was concerned. 

 

"That's not the right wording."

 

Blue didn't bother trying again. 

 

"This might be too personal, but do you forgive your parents?"

 

Months earlier, Neil's chest would've seized at the mere thought of Nathan. But Neil Josten did not fear Nathan, because Nathan was Nathaniel's father, not Neil's. It had taken a long time for Andrew to drill that thought into his head, but it was a comforting idea now.

 

"My father? Never. My mother? I can understand her. I don't know if I forgive her, because I don't know what to forgive. I miss her, but I don't want to see her again." 

 

Blue stared down as his socks, "I forgive my parents." It was soft, hesitant. Something that he was admitting to himself just as much as he was admitting it to Neil. "They may have hurt me, but they didn't know better. You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

 

Blue smiled weakly, "I do miss my siblings. I hope they reach out, even if it takes a decade or two for them to accept me."

 

Neil wondered if he was supposed to offer a hug. He wasn't very interested in hugs, they made him feel trapped and claustrophobic. So, instead, he offered a smile.

 

"Family isn't limited by blood. You're a Fox now, don't be afraid to consult us." It was just a mirrored phrase. The same thing he'd been told repeatedly by the other Foxes. 

 

Blue nodded, "Thanks. Uh, if you see Matt, tell him I think I'm ready to have my knife block back. I can't stand to watch Quill cut another block of cheese with a spoon."

 

Neil didn't mention the fact that that may just be the way Quill was. He'd witnessed Quinn eat string cheese without peeling it, so maybe the Sektiun family was just a little off. Which was fine, because no Fox was okay. 

 

"You should tell him yourself. He won't believe it if you make someone else do it. You have to take initiative." God, Neil hated when he sounded like a 5th grade spokesperson. These freshman were really forcing him to a good role model. 

 

A woman quietly scurried up the stairs, pausing when she saw them. She had impossibly fluffy hair and dark skin, her eyes nearly indigo in the dim lighting

 

"Um, I'm looking for the Exy dorms?"

 

"You found them," Blue said, gesturing vaguely.

 

She sighed, "Great. I'm Zelaphiel. Weird name, right?" She scrunched up her nose, "My parents were some wild Christians."

 

Neil thought the name sounded familiar. She must be friends with one of the freshman, why else would she show up at the dorms?

 

"Anyway, I'm looking for Syr." She wore a pastel orange and white shirt, the words 'Palmetto State Arts' printed in bold black across the chest. An art major, then. Why on Earth would an Exy player and an art major be friends? It just didn't add up. Though, Neil supposed that Exy didn't equal tough majors. Allison majored in fashion design, so maybe he should stop being judgmental.

 

"Syr? Oh, you mean Syrbenet? She's in that room."

 

Zelaphiel thanked Blue and knocked. The door opened almost instantly. Syrbenet grinned and hugged Zelaphiel.

 

"Zela, you made it!" Her eyes landed on Neil, hardening into a glare, "Come inside." She tugged Zelaphiel into the dorm and shut the door harsher than needed. 

 

"Friendly girl." 

 

Neil frowned, "She'll get over it. The only reason she has an issue with me is because I'm vice captain. And because she knows I'm somehow associated with Andrew."

 

"Now that I think about it, you never told any of us about you and Andrew."

 

"I told Ocylla," Neil admitted. He'd done so shortly after Ocylla had began hanging around the monsters, so she wouldn't be shocked by the inevitable discovery.

 

"I thought so. She always is very confident in her bets concerning you two." Blue knew about it because this wasn't the first time Neil had brought out his limited social skills to talk to Blue. 

 

"Isn't that cheating?"

 

Blue smiled, "You aren't breaking the law if you don't get caught."

 

×××

 

Allison and Nicky cornered Neil, both breathless from arguing.

 

"Neil, who's cuter?"

 

"We trust you to be unbiased because we know you only have eyes for Andrew." Nicky added.

 

"And because we know you'll try to spare us, we promise to go to your stupid midnight practices for one week if you're honest."

 

Neil blinked, startled by the question. He wasn't the best judge of conventional attraction, especially when it came to members of the opposite sex. How was he supposed to know when each sex had different traits? Was he supposed to get a 1-10 spectrum for each sex then sat "hm, sorry Nicky, Allison's an 8"?

 

Neil really hated the fact that he had no idea how to respond. It wasn't a new feeling, since he was still adapting to having friends. 

 

"Uh…"

 

Andrew walked past, sparing a brief glance to assess the threat before opening the fridge and fishing around for breakfast. Kevin watched from the couch, eyes narrowed.

 

"Andrew, if you eat ice cream for breakfast again I'm suspending you."

 

Andrew turned towards him, "Oh, whatever will I do? I can't live with Exy." He chucked a grudge magnet at Kevin's forehead.

 

Neil smiled, and Nicky looked vaguely disappointed by the fact that Neil found Andrew's aggression endearing.

 

"Answer us, Neil, please?" 

 

Neil looked at them and offered an apologetic shrug, "Sorry. It's like you said, I only have eyes for Andrew."

 

Kevin let out a suffering sigh and retreated to a further location. Andrew glared, but didn't throw anymore magnets.

 

"I hate you."

 

"That's fine," Neil replied, smiling.

 

Andrew closed the fridge and stalked over, "Alright, that's enough socializing. This isn't your room anymore, Nicky."

 

Nicky huffed but turned, "Come on Allison, we'll ask Dan and Matt. They're unbiased, too."

 

"But what if they disagree? Who will break the tie?"

 

The clicked shut and Neil couldn't hear Nicky's answer.

 

Andrew looked at the spot where Kevin had relocated to, then left the room, flicking his hand in a 'follow me' gesture. After the incident with Nicky, Andrew had taken to avoiding being within a 20 foot radius of the Foxes when he and Neil did "thing" things. 

 

Andrew led him up the roof, which wasn't exactly new. Kevin didn't leave often, so Andrew would occasionally drag Neil to the roof and kiss him senseless before returning to their dorm like nothing had happened — even though Kevin always shot an annoyed, knowing look. 

 

"Pleased by my sappy statements?"

 

"Shut up," Andrew waved a hand dismissively, "I'm more pleased by how you're learning deflect rather than run." 

 

Neil smiled, because these moments were rare. Moments where Andrew would let slip a hint of something positive. He could count those moments on one hand, but that was more than enough.

 

Andrew have Neil's smile a disinterested look before stepping closer, "Yes or no?"

 

"Yes, as always." 

 

"One of these days I'm going to stab you, because you said it's 'always yes with me'."

 

"I trust you not to." Neil watched the flicker of something in those distant hazel eyes, but it was quickly hidden. 

 

Andrew chose to avoid words for time being, tugging on Neil's collar so he could kiss him without having to lean upwards. He tapped Neil's left wrist, and Neil gladly ran his fingers through Andrew's hair.

 

This kiss was less like a fight. It wasn't any softer than usual, but Neil could sense that there was something different driving Andrew. It was like he'd gone looking for something but couldn't quite remember what it was, seeking it out on Neil's lips. 

 

Neil was pleased to help him look, occasionally gasping for air and sneaking kisses along Andrew's jaw. 

 

"I hate you," Andrew breathed, saying it more to himself than Neil. 

 

"You keep saying that. You know, it's been proven that people who repeat things tend to be lying." 

 

"Says the same man whose go-to phrase is 'I'm fine'." Andrew twisted the fabric of Neil's shirt in one hand and lightly gripped his auburn hair with the other. 

 

"Stop bringing up the past."

 

"'The past' happened three hours ago."

 

Neil couldn't argue with the truth, so he kissed Andrew again. Andrew didn't complain about the deflection. Neil lost track of time when they were together. Everything blurred together in a clump of feelings too complex for him to sort through. The heavy, hot weight in his stomach. The light, fluttery feeling in his chest. The desire to give and the desire to receive, melding into a confusing lump of  _ want _ . 

 

It was amazing.

 

"You're amazing."

 

"I hate you," Andrew said, but it sounded a little softer than usual. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in one day? Andreil had been a great influence on me. I still have no idea what chapter 5 will be. I outlined 1-4 and 6 before writing this, but I have no fucking clue what chapter 5 will be so we're on this roller coaster together fellas


	5. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sad gay who wants cuddles and instead writes about other people cuddling because I'm lonely

Neil opened the door to head out for his run. There was someone two inches away, and his still foggy mind didn't process that they were an ally until he'd already punched them in the gut.

 

Nicky wheezed, "You know, I think Andrew is rubbing off on you." Then he laughed breathlessly at his unintentional joke.

 

Neil, by this point, was used to feeling guilt around the Foxes. But it was still startling by how genuine his apology was. Nicky must've felt the same, because he grinned proudly.

 

"One day, I think you'll be a functioning member of society."

 

"Are you saying I'm not right now?" 

 

Nicky shrugged, "You called that opposing striker a cowardly turnip on live TV, so I'd say you could improve."

 

Neil didn't argue with that. It wasn't his fault, though. The guy looked like a turnip, and Wymack had insisted that Neil used less "offensive" words on live TV. Hence, calling assholes very creative terms. 

 

Wymack was not amused. 

 

"Why are you awake? Usually you're asleep another hour or two." 

 

Nicky smiled, "Memorizing my sleeping patterns, huh Neil? Well, if you must know, I was gonna invite you and," he paused and searched for a word, "the other two to the girls' dorm tonight. Movie night, bonding time, and copious amounts of alcohol."

 

Neil had the sneaking suspicion that alcohol would inhibit team bonding, but didn't voice that thought.

 

"I can't promise Andrew will go, but Kevin will go anywhere there's alcohol." 

 

Nicky nodded as if that were some ancient wisdom bestowed upon him, "Understandable, living with Andrew is stressful."

 

"I think it has more to do with his crippling anxiety."

 

"Yeah, that'll do it." 

 

×××

 

Neil returned to find that Nicky had asked Kevin even though Neil promised to inform him. 

 

"I don't see why he's inviting the freshman. Half of them don't even talk to us." 

 

"You mean they don't talk to you. Have you considered that it's because you look almost as murderous as Andrew?" Nicky asked politely, which earned a sharp glare.

 

"I don't look murderous," Kevin said, but he sounded like he didn't fully believe himself.

 

"Strict? Severe? Like you have a stick up your ass? Which would you prefer?" 

 

Andrew was watching from the corner, eating a bowl of what might have been Lucky Charms but entirely marshmallows. Neil wondered how Kevin had reacted to that. It wasn't the first time he'd done. Neil had jokingly suggested it, but for some reason Andrew had actually tried it and  _ liked it. _

 

Neil would say he felt bad for Andrew's dentist, but not only did Andrew not have any cavities (miraculously), he'd probably flee the country before willingly seeing a dentist. 

 

"Does rebellion run in your family?"

 

Nicky nodded, "Yeah, probably. Like my parents, rebelling against every shred of my happiness."

 

Kevin winced, and Andrew hid his amusement with his (not) cereal.

 

"That took an unexpected turn." Andrew said, voice as even and uncaring as always. 

 

Nicky smiled, because he enjoyed any moments when Andrew acknowledged his existence in a normal way. Which wasn't often. 

 

"Well you know what they say; expect the unexpected." Nicky grinned, early thinking he was a genius.

 

Andrew didn't reply, his attention returning to his Lucky Charms.

 

Neil left them to shower, figuring the least he could offer to the gathering was to not smell gross. And maybe a bag of chips — if they hadn't been eaten by someone, yet. 

 

He took his time showering, tracing his scars absentmindedly. His appearance still made him flinch when he looked in the mirror, mind still molded to hide _ ,  _ h _ ide, hide _ . He didn't think he'd ever adapt to those blue eyes staring back at him. But he'd begun to get used to his hair. His hair may have been the same color as Nathan Wesninski, but Neil Josten's hair was completely different. His hair was shaggy and stuck up in odd places, having not seen a brush in a few days. His scalp retained the memory of careful fingers, of lips pressed to the top of his head when Andrew thought he was asleep. His hair was tied back with an orange bandanna during games, much to the chagrin of some of his teammates (read Allison and Nicky). His hair was  _ his _ , and no one else's. 

 

By the time he'd thrown on one of his worn t-shirts and gone to inform the others he was done with his lengthy shower, they'd already left. A note on the counter, written in Nicky's messy scrawl,  read:

 

We went left without you, it's every man for himself. But Andrew insisted we leave a note so you don't think we abandoned you. We took the doritos.

-Nicky ♡

 

The heart was erased, but had left a visible impression. Neil wondered if Nicky had done that willingly or under threat of stabbing. 

 

Everyone else had already spread out in the girls' dorm. Well, one of them. The other girls dorm was for Syrbenet, Quinn, and Ocylla. 

 

Matt sat in a chair with Dan lazily sprawled half on his lap half on the floor. Nicky was clattering about with various bottles, Kevin with more in his hands. Allison and Renee were curled up on a beanbag, holding hands. Allison was arguing with Ocylla and Nicky about what movie to watch first while Renee exchanged a few words with Andrew, who had taken the corner seat on the sofa. Aaron was off to the side, his phone out — probably texting Katelyn.

 

Aaron was mildly annoyed by the freshman purely because they were just as chaotic and gay as the original Foxes. Which was impressive, because the original Foxes were extremely chaotic and gay. 

 

Quinn had taken another beanbag, gleefully prodding her way into every conversation she could. Blue sat on the floor next to Matt and Dan, occasionally smiling at something they said. 

 

Quill was sitting as far from Quinn as he physically could, pressed against a wall and fiddling with a rubik's cube. Citrine was attempting to disrail democracy by putting a movie on while everyone was distracted. Syrbenet was leaning in the corner, her arms crossed — she looked more like a petulant child than anything. 

 

"I say we start with something light, that way we can work our way towards something darker — like Silent Hill."

 

Allison glared at Nicky, "I refuse to have Silent Hill within five states of me."

 

"Then could we watch Alien? Andrew forced me to watch it last month and I need to share it with all of you." 

 

Allison frowned, "I guess, but only because Ripley is kinda cute."

 

"Awesome!"

 

Renee turned to Citrine and innocently asked, "Could you put in a Disney movie? That seems like a safe place to start."

 

Citrine froze under her gentle gaze, but nodded meekly. 

 

"Neil! I was beginning to worry you drowned in the shower," Matt said, which pulled attention towards him. Neil shuffled awkwardly, because it was one thing to be in a stadium with thousands of strangers and another entirely worse thing to have all fifteen of your teammates looking at you. 

 

"Please, drowning in a shower is impossible. It's much more likely to slip and fall," Dan chided, tapping Matt's forehead.

 

"Soap in the eye," Nicky added.

 

The Foxes nodded in agreement.

 

"Where's he going to sit?" Kevin asked as he took the last spot on the sofa. 

 

Nicky gestured vaguely Andrew, "His lap, obviously."

 

Citrine snorted and Ocylla highfived Nicky. Andrew loosely outlined the blades in his armbands. 

 

"They're a thing?" Syrbenet asked, her chin lifting indignantly, "I see why our vice captain let's the monster get away with everything."

 

Andrew glanced at Syrbenet blankly, "You'd let people get away with things if they get you off, too. Unfortunately, I can't see anyone willingly touching a cumberworld."

 

Neil almost laughed, because he'd heard Andrew use that wire before. It was an old English term used to describe someone who was so useless all they did was take up space. Sadly, he  _ was  _ vice captain. Which meant he shouldn't encourage insults.

 

"Andrew," Neil said. It was enough to get a dismissive look. Andrew turned away from Syrbenet, and Neil could almost see a flicker of amusement.

 

"Well, that was interesting," Kevin murmured, then threw back a shot of vodka. 

 

Citrine put on The Lion King to avoid another exchange. Which may have worked if Nicky hadn't immediately began belting out the opening theme like it was life or death. 

 

Allison joined, attempting to be louder. Matt and Dan reluctantly joined, though not as loud. Ocylla and Quinn seemed intent on singing as high pitched as possible. 

 

"Neil, can I lift you up like Simba?" Nicky asked, eyes lit up with anticipation.

 

"No," Andrew said before Neil could.

 

"Why? Do you want to do it?" Nicky paused, "You probably could. How much do you weigh, Neil?"

 

"Wow, Nicky, don't you know it's rude to ask a lady's weight?" Allison asked, sarcasm lacing her voice like a ribbon. 

 

"Neil's not a lady."

 

Allison shrugged, "I'm pretty sure he's the lady in the relationship."

 

"There is no lady," Andrew said, "We're both male."

 

"You know exactly what I meant, Andrew."

 

Andrew stared at her, "Do I care, though?"

 

"Probably not," Syrbenet huffed, wrapping her arms around herself. 

 

"Points to the harpy, everyone," Andrew said without even bothering to fake cheer. 

 

Neil figured the worst that would happen was a calm rejection, so he walked over to Andrew's edge of the couch. It felt odd, since they never touched in public, but Neil wanted to see if PDA was as interesting as some suggested.

 

"Yes or no?"

 

Andrew's eyes flicked to Neil's face, looking for traces of intention, then shrugged, "Yes."

 

Neil didn't sprawl across Andrew like Dan had done with Matt, instead tucking himself between Andrew and Kevin, practically sitting on Andrew. The blond didn't move, though Kevin grumbled something about Exy relationships.

 

"Okay?" Neil asked quietly, ignoring the startled stares of his teammates.

 

Andrew looked at Neil, stifling a brief twitch if his facial muscles, "I hate you."

 

Neil heard Syrbenet mutter, "What a romantic." 

 

"That's good." 

 

Andrew frowned, but didn't question that response, instead turning to watch Mufasa lead Simba through the Pride Lands. 

 

Neil hummed pleasantly. He could admit that being pressed against Andrew's side was nice. He felt safe, but he also felt whole. This was a confirmation that, yeah, they were a thing. They were important. To the world and to each other. He waited a few minutes to see if Andrew would tense, then set his head on Andrew's shoulder.

 

"Having fun, junkie?" 

 

"What can I say? You're a fun person."

 

Nicky almost spat out his drink, "Andrew, fun? Sometimes I worry you have brain damage."

 

Matt nodded, "I guess love really does make you do crazy things."

 

Andrew glared, "It isn't love, Boyd. This is nothing."

 

"Dude, you're cuddling."

 

"Nothing."

 

Neil smiled. Yeah, this must be what home feels like. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a touch shorter, sorry. I may take slightly longer to update because ya girl has fucking summer homework (being an AP student is great)


	6. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *insert lesbian screaming*
> 
> Also cookies

Neil hadn't initially planned on baking, but he'd been doing a grocery run with Kevin (because Andrew refused to let Kevin choose all their food) and thought it would be a good idea. 

 

Since he'd been on the run for most of his life, he didn't have much experience in this department. But he could distinctly remember the one time he helped his mother bake cookies for a bake sale at one of their slightly longer temporary homes. It was during freshman year, for a school fundraiser that everyone was expected to contribute to.

 

So Neil feigned ignorance when Kevin complained about the extra purchases and left them on the counter when putting everything else away. 

 

Neil didn't have Andrew's eidetic memory, but he still remembered exactly how to make those cookies. He tended to remember things he enjoyed much better. 

 

"Why do you insist on ignoring every vegetable I buy?" Kevin asked, watching Neil pour ¾ a cup of brown sugar in a bowl. 

 

"Vegetables are overrated."

 

"Vegetables are healthy!"

 

"Yeah, so is a normal mental state. Do you see me asking you to stop having trauma?"

 

Kevin gaped, "That is in no way related to vegetables."

 

"You don't know that. Maybe spinach causes anxiety."

 

Kevin must've sorted through dozens of reasons, but he couldn't quite form words to respond to Neil's outlandish claim. It was fun. Neil appreciated Kevin, but saying unreasonable things just to watch his face fall in complete confusion was extremely enjoyable.

 

"I'm starting to think your skill on court is not worth your mouth."

 

Neil sort of wanted to make a joke then. That was a rather new feeling. 

 

"I think you'll find that one of your teammates enjoys my mouth," Neil said, smiling as Kevin gaped.

 

"Nicky isn't allowed near you anymore, you're tainted."

 

Neil shrugged, "You can try stopping him, but I doubt he'll listen."

 

×××

 

The first dozen cookies are slightly overcooked, but the other two dozen are perfectly fine. It doesn't take long for the Foxes to find the source of the scent, hovering around and pretending they don't actually want a cookie.

 

"Aren't you the ones who told me to be honest? If you want one, take one."

 

"Just one?" Nicky asked, taking five.

 

"He's not going to eat them," Dan said, "He doesn't like sweets, remember?"

 

"Must be why he likes Andrew," Nicky replied smoothly, popping one of the cookies in his mouth. 

 

"These are wonderful, you should lend me the recipe," Renee smiled, and Neil agreed to write it down as long as she didn't give anyone else the recipe.

 

It was one of the few things he had that had belonged to his mother, so he didn't want to give it out immediately. He'd probably share it with the other Foxes eventually, but for now he'd just give it to the one Fox who wouldn't make a big deal out of it. 

 

Andrew appeared in the doorway, apparently fed up with the chatter in his dorm. Except he didn't look as disinterested as usual when he snagged a few cookies and leaned against the wall, watching the others.

 

"Oh! I'll be right back, I just remembered something." Ocylla jogged out of the dorm, returning with a box that looked unreasonably fancy. 

 

"Sequoi sent these. She said it was a thank you for putting up with my bullshit," Ocylla smiled fondly at Sequoi's name. She set the box on the counter and displayed the contents. It contained 15 identical necklaces. Thin black chains with glossy orange fox paw pendants. 

 

"We were sponsored by Empress Jeweling?" Allison cried, sounding somewhere between tears and glee. 

 

"I don't think this counts as sponsorship. It's just a gift," Renee said, smiling at Allison's excitement.

 

Ocylla passed them out to the present Foxes. Nicky promised to throw one at Aaron, Ocylla said she'd give one to Quinn and Syrbenet, and Neil reluctantly agreed to give one to the freshman boys. Kevin had reluctantly accepted one and forced it to be a bracelet instead. That left one to give to Andrew.

 

Ocylla expectantly looked at Neil. 

 

"I'm not a bomb, you could at least ask if I want it." Andrew looked at Ocylla. Unfortunately, his nonchalant gaze was sort of ruined by his short stature, messy hair, and the cookie he was eating.

 

"Um," Ocylla glanced at his armbands, "Do you want a team necklace?"

 

"Well I'm not going to wear it, but I'll take your little friendship bracelet."

 

Neil was startled by that purely because Andrew had accepted a "friendship bracelet". Andrew was notorious for disliking the notion of friends and family, but yet he'd accepted that. Neil wondered why. Did he accept that the Foxes were like a family? Or at least friends?

 

Ocylla grinned and handed him the chain, which he unceremoniously shoved in his pocket. 

 

"It's too bad that we can't give Wymack one," Dan said tilting her pendant and watching the light shift across it.

 

"I'll ask Sequoi about getting three more. For Coach, Abby, and Betsy." 

 

Dan nodded, "This was a great idea. Thank you. Tell Sequoi we appreciate it."

 

"I don't think I will. Compliments just encourage her to give out more gifts. She's gonna go bankrupt at this point."

 

"I'll sponsor her," Allison said, helping Renee put her necklace on.

 

"You should stop spending money on frivolous things, " Renee said.

 

Allison frowned, "It's not frivolous, it's fabulous."

 

"Dear God, how long have you been waiting to use that line?" Dan asked, distraught.

 

"A few weeks."

 

"Is this why girls spend so much time in the shower? They're coming up with awful phrases?" Nicky asked, but there was no taunting edge behind it. 

 

"No, Nicky, we're putting conditioner in our God awful amounts of hair." 

 

Dan and Renee solemnly stared at Allison, the only person with long hair in the room — besides Ocylla, but Neil was pretty sure Ocylla had never even looked at conditioner.

 

Andrew watched that exchange with disinterest, eventually walking away. Neil wondered what kind of mood Andrew was in today. Usually he didn't refrain from scathing remarks, making his annoyance known until the Foxes finally left his dorm. 

 

_ Who is humanizing who? _

 

×××

 

As expected, the three dozen cookies did not last long. Once they were gone, the Foxes slowly trickled away and left Neil alone with Kevin. 

 

"This better not become a reoccurring thing," Kevin said, gesturing towards the kitchen. 

 

"I doubt I could handle this being a reoccurring thing." It wasn't a lie. Neil loved the Foxes, he really did. But they were a bit much to he around, and sometimes he needed a break from all their noise. He wondered if that was a normal trait or not.

 

He hoped so, he didn't want to be any more of a mess. The Foxes deserved a reward for putting up with him for this long. 

 

×××

 

"Yes or no?"

 

Neil would always say yes. There was no reason to say no. Not when a single glance from Andrew was enough to make his chest feel all fluttery and tight. Not when he ran his hands through blond hair. Not when warm lips pushed against his like it was the last time they would touch. Not when he could get lost in hazel eyes.

 

Neil had never understood the obsession with eyes. But looking at Andrew? He completely understood. He picked out the flecks of green and blue and gold that formed  _ hazel _ . It was stunning. It made him forget about his own cold eyes, the ones that still haunted his nightmares. Why think about nightmares when there was a dream right next to you? 

 

Andrew was pressed close, a compact warmth that Neil could always trust to support him — even if there was no promise that made him do so.

 

Hot hands slid over scarred skin. It was exhilarating. The idea that there was someone who accepted the scars. Who ignored them. Who simply moved on and treated them as if they were still perfect. Maybe they were. Maybe Neil thought the same of Andrew's scars. They were no longer reminders of a dark and tainted past. They were memories of feather light kisses and tender bodies. Perhaps they'd always have scars, but at least they could bring new meaning to them. 

 

Bodies searching through cloth, desperation and something much softer fueling their movements. Neil breathed heavily. His first instinct was to plea and beg, but he knew that would only ruin this. Through a foggy mind he could still recognize the limits. Instead he exhaled softly.

 

"Yes, yes, yes." 

 

Afterwards, Neil, while regaining his breath, briefly wondered why people would take their clothes  _ off  _ if you could be reduced to shambles with your clothes  _ on. _

 

It seemed much more reasonable. No awkward glances or flustered words, just comfortable relief. Just respect and adoration. 

 

It was fantastic, phenomenal, beautiful. Neil could list dozens of words in many languages, expressing his feelings. It was scary. The fact that Andrew made him so intensely…  _ feel. _ Neil didn't want to put it into words. The words seemed too big, but far too weak. 

 

Neil wondered how Andrew felt. Certainly he was even more fearful of this attachment. Andrew didn't like things he was attached to. The last thing he'd been attached to was Cass, and that hadn't ended well. 

 

But if Neil had any say in the matter, he wouldn't let this end badly. He wouldn't let Andrew disappointed and betrayed again. He wouldn't.

 

Because...

 

"I love you." Neil tensed, the words free before he could choke them back. 

 

He expected one of them to flee. Maybe both. They were both too broken for such words. To others, those words were a comfort. To them, they were a dangerous edge. There was no room for love when you were someone like Neil or Andrew. They'd let down too many walls for each other. This was one that just couldn't be removed. It had been the hardest to build, and if it was brought down now then it would never be able to be rebuilt. 

 

Neither wanted such empty words. Words could never express what they had. Words were for people who didn't need that deep understanding. For people who needed reassurance and comfort. Neither of them had any need for these words. These words didn't belong to them. They belonged to Matt and Dan, who had mutual respect and perfect synchrony; to Renee and Allison, who laughed and smiled together; to Nicky and Erik, who remained together even in different continents; to Ocylla and Sequoi, who betrayed the odds and had the world in their hands, because all they wanted was each other; to Quinn and Clara, who were married right out of high school, giving the other all they needed selflessly. 

 

They didn't belong to Neil and Andrew's thing, it wasn't that shallow. It wasn't that whole. They had a glacier, immense and full of cracks. The cracks may be gradually disappearing, but they would never be like others.

 

Andrew lifted his head ever so slightly —  _ because he's going to leave, run away and never look back, he doesn't need you  _ — then lips are brushing Neil's ear, "That's a terrible idea, junkie." A brief pause that felt like an eternity. "I love you, too."

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I was possessed while I wrote the ending. I wasn't even thinking, I was just spewing sappy bullshit. Anyway, this was completely unedited and probably has 20+ errors but oh well. I love writing the Foxes so definitely expect more AftG from me. I think I'll try Andrew's pov next, because I want to explore his mindset. I also might do an outsider pov, because these two seem fucking wild from the view of, say, Matt. Fun fact, the confession was the first thing I wrote! Anyway, thanks for putting up with my bullshit excuse for writing. I appreciate all the kudos, <3


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